Think you're stressed out,? Try landing on the moon.

40 years ago today, as half a billion people watched in awe on their tiny (by today's standards) T.V. screens, Apollo 11 landed on the surface of the moon. A feat so incredible, there are still those who believe that it was all an elaborate hoax (I won't dishonor the memory of the lunar landing, by giving any credence to this theory). Just two years earlier, on January 27, 1967, a flash fire occurred in the Apollo 1 command module during a launch simulation, killing the three astronauts meant to pilot the mission. I imagine that Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin, and Michael Collins were keenly aware of this, as they prepared to embark on a mission which had never been attempted, let alone accomplished. Despite the exhaustive training and preparation, NASA really had no idea what to expect. What must have been going through the minds of those astronauts as they made the three and a half day journey to moon? Watching the Earth grow smaller and smaller out the bay window, the significance of what they were about to do had to be weighing heavily on their minds. Among the distractions the astronauts had to deal with were the sounding alarms when the ship's computer couldn't keep up with the data stream. As they approached the lunar surface, Neil Armstrong made a decision to take manual control of the lunar lander to select a safer landing spot, all with only about twenty seconds of fuel remaining.

Nine months later, on April 11, 1970, Apollo 13 was launched for another trip to the moon. Two days into their mission, a fault in the electrical system of one of the service module oxygen tanks produced an explosion which caused a loss of electrical power and failure of both oxygen tanks. Fortunately the command module remained functional on its own batteries and oxygen tank, which were only designed to support the vehicle during the last hours of flight. The mission was aborted and the crew was forced to shut down the command module and use the lunar module as a "lifeboat" during the return trip to earth. Despite the great hardship caused by limited power, loss of cabin heat, and a shortage of potable water, the crew managed to return safely to Earth.

Between the first and last lunar mission in December 1972, The United States managed to make it to the moon and back six times. No other country has ever successfully landed a man on the moon. The moon landings remain a testament to the drive, resilience and human ingenuity of the men and women of this great country.

So the next time you're struggling with a bad day or worrying about all which lies ahead, look up at at the moon, take a deep breath and know that you can handle anything the world throws at you.

Some thoughts on weeds and relationships

While mowing my lawn yesterday, and grumbling to myself about how horrible my yard looks, I thought about that all American pursuit of the ideal lawn. When my wife and I first moved into our home, our yard was in pretty good shape. Nicely landscaped, a few weeds here and there, but otherwise a lawn to feel good about. Unfortunately, yard work is not my forte, it takes more work than I'm willing to put in. I'm just not one to water, weed, or fertilize.

I tend to take short cuts with my lawn. To illustrate, I ordered some Zoysia grass a few years ago, after seeing an ad in a magazine. You only have to mow a Zoysia lawn once each month, it said. Sounded great to me. My grass arrived a week later as four slabs, each the size of a large ceramic floor tile. I read the instructions, telling me to measure my lawn, separate the grass into individual plugs and plant each plug 4 feet apart. Hmmm, sounds like an awful lot of work I thought. Then I have to water everyday for two weeks? I think to myself, there must be an easier way. Why not just plant the slabs as is. It's grass right, it'll grow. Three years later, I can see the folly of my thinking. Even now, though I'd still like that lush green lawn, I'm not willing to pay for a lawn service. I tell myself things, like, oh my lawn's not that bad or I'll have more time to focus on the lawn when the kid's are older and I have more time.

All this thinking about my lawn, helped me think of a good analogy. Relationships, like lawns, take lots of work. I see many couples in my practice struggling with poor communication and trust issues, or who have simply begun to drift apart over time. Their story is frequently the same. Things were great while they were dating, then they got married and things began to change. There are careers to launch, houses to buy, and children to raise. With all these outside forces pushing and pulling them in different directions, it's not surprising that things change. Couples turn their attention to addressing all the other things going on in their busy lives and their relationship begins to suffer. The physical and emotional intimacy wanes, they spend less time talking and engaged in "couple" activities. Over time the needs of the "family" completely overshadow their relationship. Strain on the relationship ultimately leads to a breakdown in communication, more conflict and increased tension. By the time a couple makes it to my office there is much work to do.

The good news is, that once a couple has decided to "tend to their lawn" so to speak, they are usually successful at addressing the issues which have eroded the foundation of their relationship. With their relationship once again a priority, communication improves, they spend more time together and the emotional and physical intimacy between them increases. The realization that the relationship will not take care of itself leads them to take consistent action to ensure that their relationship continues to grow and get stronger year after year.

At least my yard was good for something.

Have a great 4th of July

I hope you all have a great 4th of July. Remember all of those who are risking their lives to protect this great country.

Hanging with Josh